Sculpture Self-Portrait Part 3

Orual's Struggle

 Orual, the elder sister of the beloved Psyche. The following is a description of the encounter she faced on her way to discover what has become of her Psyche, who was sacrificed to the god of the mountains. She expects to find and bury her sister's bones.

And my struggle was this. You may well believe that I had set out sad enough; I came on a sad errand. Now, flung at me like frolic or insolence, there came as if it were a voice – no words – but if you made it into words it would be, “Why should your heart not dance?” It’s the measure of my folly that my heart almost answered, “Why not?” I had to tell myself over like a lesson the infinite reasons it had not to dance. My heart to dance? Mine whose love was taken from me, I, the ugly princess who must never look for other love, the drudge of the King, the jailer of hateful Redival, perhaps to be murdered or turned out as a beggar when my father died – for who knew what Glome would do then? And yet, it was a lesson I could hardly keep in my mind. The sight of the huge world put mad ideas into me, as if I could wander away, wander forever, see strange and beautiful things, one after the other to the world’s end. The freshness and wetness all about me made me feel that I had misjudged the world; it seemed kind, and laughing, as if its heart also danced. Even my ugliness I could not quite believe in. Who can feel ugly when the heart meets delight?

 Amazingly, once Orual arrives at the place where Psyche was chained to a tree and left to the god, there are no remains to be found. She and her traveling companion look over the hills to the god's country, where no man dares to enter. But enter she must to find out what has become of her dear Psyche.

They enter into a luscious valley between the mountains. As Orual stoops to the river to take a drink, who does she see but her own dear Psyche! Alive and well, only... clothed in rags... but otherwise radiant.

The two embrace and rejoice, crying how they had hoped to meet again someday. Orual cuts Psyche off short and demands they must leave at once, before the god can stop them. Psyche, however, replies, "Dear Maia (good mother, nurse), I am a wife now. It's no longer you that I must obey."

Things turn bitter between the two as Psyche tries again and again to tell Orual about her love for the god of the mountains. Orual, however, cannot accept it. She is embittered by the fact that, although she herself has been wasting away, mourning the loss of her dear sister, Psyche apparently has not experienced this same centration. In fact, Psyche has been filled to the brim with an adoration and love for her dear husband, although she is not allowed to look on his face.

This story appears to me tragic and heart wrenching, that these two sisters are unable to enter into the same kind of joy. The one embraces her new found love; the other holds grudgingly onto what she thinks she should possess, leaving no room for joy.

It is a heart wrenching story, beautifully told. I've never felt so much hope for a character as I have felt for Orual. The following song by the Oh Hellos captures the feeling of Orual's Struggle...